If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Shame - the story of my life.
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