I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
