Kiss
Puke
one might say we're banned from that church
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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