there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
