If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
