I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize