do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Enjoy the penises
Randomize