is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
