Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
