Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
