Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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