"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
