worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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