2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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