if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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