Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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