everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I supernannyed him into submission
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
