If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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