I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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