I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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