I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
