How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
