So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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