Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Did I show you my penis last night?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
