You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
