All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
