My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
