Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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