Whod you bang
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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