I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you mean i was at the winter classic?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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