your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
