Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize