I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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