So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I still have a little drunk in my system
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
