dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
