OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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