i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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