What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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