I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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