i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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