chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Acid is not a monday night drug
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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