Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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