so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I wish I only lived at night.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
