She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
