God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
