There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
