grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
