I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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