It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
