Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
