Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Girls should come with a carfax report
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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