Define "chronic" masturbator.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
