Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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