I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
