Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
