Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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