you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
