yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
