he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
