This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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