It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
