How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I think people are normalizing furries
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
