Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
