just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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